"trust yourself a little more"

Today I decided to be braver. I also realised that I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

I have a lot of friends here who's first language is not English, some who are really scared to make a mistake. I'm always saying not to apologise, and that it doesn't matter if you make mistakes, at least you're trying. But, now it's my turn, and it is not easy. I got into a taxi the other day with a friend (she looks Asian but can't speak Chinese) and the guy starts yapping away about something or other so I plucked up the courage and said in Chinese 'my Chinese is not good.' I later realised what I'd actually said was 'I is Chinese not good' but that's not the point, the guy understood me. I got such a confidence boost and realised that I learn the theory, but if I don't put it into practice then it'll never stick. But man that's easier said than done.

It's the same with art. I know that I know what I should be doing, and how to go about doing it, but until I step up and acknowledge that, I'll only ever be average at best.

It may have taken a little longer than it should have (and a trip to the other side of the world) to figure it out, but now that I have, I have no excuse. It wont be easy but it must be done. I've just got to go for it, jump out of the proverbial tree and hope for all hopes that I don't hit the concrete.