i had an idea

Last night I had a break through. There is, in my opinion, another side to the 'photography to prove existence' theory. (NB this is not the breakthrough, but hold on, it's coming.) This is the kind which I tend to adhere to. The proving of existence by recording your surroundings. Collecting images that make up your perception of the world in which you live. It never really occurred to me until I saw an exhibition by this Japanese photographer, Rinko Kawauchi. It was made up of lots of square photographs of incidental things. But they weren't incidental because they made up her world; the exploration and appreciation of life; the inevitability of death; and the awesomeness of new life. It was as if I had walked into my world. The way she saw things and appreciated things, it was so similar to the world that I see. Looking at her pictures was a similar feeling to what I'd image it would be like looking at some random portrait in a gallery and realising that the person looking back at you bares a strikingly creepy resemblance to you. So would it be fair to say that this sort of photography (whereby you collect bits and pieces that interest you, or make sense to you from the world around you) is actually like a self portrait? I think that in a way it is. If you make sense of who you are in relation to the things around you (ie i have to look up to speak to people, therefore i must be short) then surely it is a kind of self portrait. A proof of the world that you live in. So, last night, I was sitting in the coffee-shop-which-shall-not-be-named looking over some of the questions i was planning to use for the betelnut girls, but something kept niggling at me. It had been niggling for a while, I just wasn't quite comfortable with them somehow. I kept thinking about the piece this South African guy did about them and how it made me feel. It was predominantly about the business but also portrayed the girls in a strange way. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like they were just a tool that happened to make the pictures a bit prettier. I kept thinking about exploitation and the potentially predatory nature of photography and the thing is that I hadn't really done much to avoid it. I was following what I thought was the best course of action, take some photos, record some interviews, but the only thing separating me from the previous guy, was the fact that he was a guy. That inevitably adds a different dimension to working with the girls, but it still wasn't satisfying what i had hope to get out of this. I wanted to know who they are, what they see. I would be the one holding the power over what was seen of them, especially due to the language barrier, which isn't what I wanted. And then I realised what I had to do. It was risky, but the only way to get anything other than what the last guy had gotten. I had to give them the ownership of the project. They would be the ones calling the shots, showing only what they wanted to. So this was my new plan: introduce myself, ask a few non intrusive questions, and then leave them with a disposable camera for a week to take photos of whatever they wanted. Their own self portrait. The chips could fall either way, I may well end up with nothing at the end, but I think the risk is worth it. So this morning, I headed out with my friend to speak to the first girl. Unfortunately I had overlooked one glaringly obvious potential problem. The friend I had taken with me to help translate was both white, and a guy. Not the wisest of things to do, it added this whole awkward feel to the thing and caused the girl to close up a little. So then he called a friend, a Taiwanese girl who wasn't far away. She was great. She could understand me (although I don't think she understood what I was doing) and the atmosphere was far clearer when we went for girl number two. She was a really pretty girl, really friendly and seemed to up for helping out when I handed her the camera. It was what I had hoped for, but wasn't sure of the possibility of it happening. And although I may only have one so far, I'm pretty happy with that one. Great start to the day.