back to today

If ever there is a fleeting moment of wonder as to what I'm doing here I'm going to remember this moment:

I'm sitting outside in a rocking chair in shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops, listening to music, laptop atop lap, a mug of coffee and my camera by my side. the sun is beating down with a cheeky wee breeze blowing to take the edge off... mmmm...

I had a dream last night that got me thinking:

I was traveling along a jungle river (which apparently was in Malta... evidently geography is not my subconsciousness' strong point) on a flat boat about the size of a lilo. There were other people on it but I only knew me cos I was at the front. Suddenly the river was a vertical drop that traversed twisted turns of rocks. I apparently had to make the call as to whether to get out or go on. I decided to go on on the basis that there was no point in turning back on this particular journey since there would be no point in living if we didn't attempt to reach our destination, even though I knew the drop would most definitely (as far as I could see) kill us all. So down we went with stomachs in throats and no control over our lilo boat, narrowly missing every rock on the way (which turned out better than my real life white water experiences) and somehow the water carried us to the bottom which was about a mile from the top unscathed. Suddenly the jungle river was in Venice, and I woke up (too much of the ridiculous for my conscious self to let go on) to find that I had navigated all the way from one side of the bed to the other, lost all my sheets and was at risk of losing me to the floor.

But as I said, this got me thinking: do I really have the guts to commit to things to that extent in real life? When things seem like their going to smoosh you but you know in your gut you've got to keep going, would I?