You've been warned

So, I'm on the way back to my dorms after a sociology class, which today was all about gender, sex, relationships etc., when I meet a group of friends who have decided that today is the day they must learn the english for bodily functions. Skipping out of it before the inevitable foot-in-mouth kicked in, I headed on to the dorms only to be welcomed by a 'Shangri-la' toilet sitting outside the elevator. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to be one of those days.

Alas, I was not to be let down.
I had just gotten back to my dorm after dinner, when I got a phone call. It was from a recent friend who is still building confidence in english so I was well impressed that he had phoned. But then, after general introductions, he said something rather unexpected; 'I have a testicle.' Obviously I put it down to a misunderstanding, so asked him to repeat; 'I have a testicle reading.' Honestly, it took all my energy not to laugh, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and I just wasn't understanding. I figured he maybe wanted help to revise for a reading test to which he replied, 'no, testicle, festival.' At this point, I was still none the clearer, so he asked me to meet him outside. There are very few people on this earth whom, after telling me about a 'testicle, festival,' could do anything to tempt me outside at night, but this guy really isn't the type to be that crude (although apparently I am.) Turns out the poor guy, who recently broke his foot playing basketball, was just bored and wanted some company. (I'm still none the wiser as to what he had been saying.) But then came a slighlty more alarming misinterpretation. Someone asked him for his phone after which he turned to me and explained, that since he is on a date it would be rude to have a phone with him. It was a nice gesture but it was hard to acknowledge when the 'date' bomb had been dropped. Don't get me wrong, my guy friends here, are great, but I have no intentions of dating them. Turned out, to my relief, it was just a bad choice of words. But it certainly made me tread a little more carefully for the remainder of the 'date.'